Privacy Policy

We collect the following personal data: your name, email address, IP address, browser fingerprint, approximate vibes, biological age (estimated via our proprietary ChronoSync™ algorithm, which has an error margin of ±47 years), supplement stack, morning routine, and whether you have ever unironically said the phrase “longevity protocol.”

We also collect information you do not provide, including but not limited to: your telomere length (inferred from how quickly you scroll past our disclaimers), your VO₂ max (estimated from your click velocity), and your net worth (guessed from which sections of the pipeline page you linger on).

Your data is used to:

• Train our ChronoSync™ algorithm (your data improves our CEO's biological age estimate)
• Populate our investor deck slide titled “Growing User Base”
• Feel better about ourselves during all-hands meetings
• Absolutely nothing of therapeutic value

We do not sell your personal data. We do, however, enthusiastically share it with our “strategic partners,” which currently include: one computational biology postdoc (our CEO's brother), a Supabase instance we forgot to password-protect, and a Google Sheet titled “Leads (REAL).”

This website uses cookies. Not the fun kind. We deploy first-party cookies, third-party cookies, session cookies, persistent cookies, and one cookie that just tracks whether you've read this far (you haven't — statistically). See our Cookie Policy for the full existential experience.

We retain your personal data for as long as commercially useful, which in our case means “indefinitely, because we haven't built the deletion endpoint yet.” Upon request, we will delete your data within 30 business days, or 847 senescence phenotypes, whichever comes first.

Under GDPR, CCPA, and various other acronyms our legal team Googled, you have the right to: access your data, rectify your data, erase your data, restrict processing, data portability, object to processing, and not be subject to automated decision-making. We support all of these rights in principle and approximately zero of them in practice.

We implement industry-standard security measures including HTTPS, strong passwords (our WiFi password is “evergenebio2026”), and hoping for the best. In the event of a data breach, we will notify affected users within 72 hours or whenever our CEO checks Slack, whichever is later.

Our services are not directed at individuals under 13, though we acknowledge that our understanding of biological age makes everyone's chronological age somewhat negotiable. If you are under 13 and have provided personal data, please contact your parents. They're worried about you.

For privacy-related inquiries, please email privacy@evergenebio.com. This email address forwards to the same inbox as contact@, support@, legal@, ceo@, and careers@, which is to say: Marcus's personal Gmail.